Financial Accountability: The Third Year

Picture from ChristianPF

Hopefully you've already read about Jake and my First Financial Year and Second Financial Year. If not, I'm betting this Third Financial Year will make a lot more sense after going through them in order. After all, we would not have made it to our Third Year if not for the First and Second Years.

As a quick update, Jake and I went through financial highs and lows (mostly lows) in our first two years, but never fought about money. Jake will jokingly attribute this to our lack of money to fight over, but it really comes down to a commitment that money would never be a relationship issue. We knew we would have good and bad times, but we would never let it affect our marriage. And so, we move into our Third Financial Year.


The Third Year

As mentioned in the Second Year, we decided to move to Northern California to be closer to our families. This, of course, had a variety of financial consequences, but we decided that the good outweighed the bad. Moving is never cheap, and we happened to be moving to one of the most expensive parts of the country- the Silicon Valley. If you've never lived here, it's everything and nothing like you imagine. We don't cross paths with Bill Gates or spend Saturdays walking across the Golden Gate Bridge, but we do know many people working in the tech industry, and take public transit to countless San Francisco Giants Games (shout out to our 2014 World Champions!). Of course, the ever-booming tech industry and the popular city make even the South Valley an expensive place to live. In moving we really had to be sure that we were making the right choice in our early marriage.

Aside from valuing family over money, there were significant financial perks to moving up north. Jake's company had been expanding in Norther California (specifically the Bay Area), and was in the process of opening a brand new Community. My mom had connections in the School District where I attended school, and she knew several teachers were retiring in the coming years. Holiday travel would be significantly decreased, meaning smaller travel expenses and fewer vacation hours used. Whenever we decided to have kids, there was a standing offer in my family that my mom would babysit cost-free for grandchildren nearby.

Sometimes, when making financial decisions, you need to look at right now. Do you have enough money to get a car? Is this job going to pay enough to make rent? Should you really eat out tonight? At other times, you need to look at the future to make financial decisions. It was about this point we started looking at the future. We wanted jobs that would turn into careers. We wanted to understand our living situation long before having kids. We wanted to stop using every last vacation hour to travel for the holidays. In essence, we wanted to settle down. Settling down at this point meant large expenses up front, but a consistent financial future. And so, we packed up our whole lives and moved seven hours away from everything we had known as a couple. We decided to start working toward our financial future. This was our ninth act of financial accountability to each other. 


Two days after we moved, Jake started his new job. He was able to transfer within his company to a position that could lead to future promotions. His brand-new office happened to be twenty minutes from my childhood home, where my parents still lived. As it was getting late in the summer, I was focused on getting us settled, subbing for a year, and aggressively pursuing local jobs for the next school year. As usual, God had other plans.

We were settling into our new apartment, after living with my grandparents to help fix up their house for a month, when I got a call. Did I still want a job in the School District? Yes, of course- a long-term sub job would be great. Could I come in for an interview tomorrow? Sure, why not. The phone call was too rushed for me to really think about it. I scrounged through suitcases to find some dress clothes and was sitting in an interview less than 24 hours later. As I sat across the table from three women, I thought how formal it was for a sub job. Did I know what the job was, really? No, I replied- all I had known was I was temporarily taking over a classroom. Apparently by "temporarily", they meant for a school year. I would start as a sub, but after a number of weeks I would sign a contract for the remainder of the year.

you don't really have time to think in an interview. They ask questions, you answer them. You try your best to appeal to their assumed personalities, interests, and values, you smile a lot, and you attempt to sound more knowledgable than you are. I had been on countless interviews, and had even had mock teaching interviews to practice- I knew what I was supposed to do. Somehow, I hound myself telling more stories than I would have imagined, mostly due to the coincidence that I attended the very Elementary School that was interviewing me. As I left, each of the women were smiling, thanking me for coming in. At least they weren't scared to look at me as I left. That was a good sign, right? Wait... did I want a full time job right then? I wasn't prepared, hadn't planned for this. No matter, I thought, there were many young professionals waiting to follow my interview. Surely if I was really supposed to take the job, they would offer it to me without hassle.

The next day I made a TV stand out of an old dresser. At the same time, I had two missed calls and two voicemails. I strained to listen as cars drove by. Was I just offered the job? I called back. There was no official offer- a call back must have convinced them (and me) that I would take the job. Start next week, they asked? Could I say no to an opportunity that was dropped in my lap? Last time, Jake and I decided I would say yes. The opportunity ended up being a wise financial decision as well as a wonderful experience. I got home anxious and jittery. As I told Jake the events of the day, he helped remind me that this was why we moved here (partially). We knew the Bay Area would offer more for my career than Orange County, and it just proved that as true. If we were serious about my career, there was no better jump start than a guaranteed year of teaching. Not that I could back out now, but I should truly treat this as what it was- teaching experience, a steady paycheck, and an amazing opportunity. This was our tenth act of financial accountability to each other. 


Our living situation started out as a fun convenience. My younger brother had told us of the trials of finding roommates and affordable places to live. Craigslist, surprisingly, is not a safe or reliable way to find roommates or apartments. We chuckled, remembering how we would never sell or buy something on Craigslist alone, no matter how small. We couldn't imagine looking for a safe place to live there. We could, however, do more than imagine the price difference of a one-bedroom with two working adults, and a two-bedroom with three working adults. In case it's different elsewhere (I doubt it), two bedroom apartments are not 50% more expensive than one bedroom apartments. Oftentimes, the common areas are similar or slightly larger, the amenities and perks are the same, and the parking situations are slightly worse. They are usually just a one-bedroom apartment with an extra hundred square feet, some walls, and a spare bathroom. Imagine, we discussed nonchalantly, if we split rent three ways! Over a year, we could save thousands of dollars.

It really only took one or two discussions. We both liked my brother, we saw him as responsible, and we liked saving money. We proposed the idea of him moving in with us, and added to the allure by showing him the cost difference of renting with a friend, or renting with us. He thought it was a great idea, but it wasn't real enough. A week later, we had him join us on an apartment tour, guided by the one and only Jake. We looked at every detail, nook, and cranny of several apartments, and calculated rent right then and there. At this point, we were so sold on renting with my brother that we were hard-selling him. What could he afford? What did he want? How can we make this happen? The magic of being in your twenties is that you get to make adult decisions on your own in whatever timeframe you choose. We snagged the last apartment of our kind the next day, and were moved in less than a month later- brother and all.

Much later, after assessing how we felt about our live-in BFF, we decided we liked having a roommate. Our apartment is safer, almost never having to worry about leaving it empty for days. Our evenings and days off are more exciting, as we often have someone else to keep us company and share our meals. We enjoy sharing our home, experiences, and advice. We also love saving money. Our privacy never feels threatened thanks to the layout of our apartment and my brother's busy work schedule, and we all pitch in to keep the place clean. Selfishly, I benefit from my brother's & husband's combined fancy cooking skills. But my brother is not our adopted child (though my mom thinks he is), and he will not live with us forever. As that time comes closer with each passing month, we had one more discussion. When my brother moves out, will we continue having a roommate? By this point, we financial thoughts and values are so similar they are practically the same. It was an easy and short lived discussion- yes. We would spend these early years renting with family and friends. One day, when we own a house (house, please come to us one day!), we dream of keeping spare rooms for people in need and San Jose baseball players in need of a home-stay for the season. What better way to prepare for this than to rent with others while we could use the discounted rent? Yes, it was clear. We would rent with others whenever the opportunity is there. This was our eleventh act of financial accountability to each other. 


As our Third Year came to a close, I was offered to continue my job for a second year. I gladly accepted, and realized that we were finally keeping our heads above water. Our cars were paid off, we were on top of our bills, we had taken over every payment attached to our names, and we were saving money on rent. We were "real adults"- we even had the crippling debt to prove it! Though we had no car payments, no credit card debt, no loans for bills, and mo mortgage, our student loans seemed never-ending. We made huge payments each month, and still they did not seem to be shrinking. As we reflected on our First, Second, and almost Third Financial Years, we knew we needed one more act of accountability, and that it would be a big one. I spent my summer vacation researching, calculating, tracking. I was overwhelmed and invigorated at the same time. This was going to miserable and this was going to be wonderful.

Thanks to a combination of Pinterest, Dave Ramsey, and math, I presented a plan to Jake. Through Pinterest I found Dave Ramsey's Seven Baby Steps to Financial Peace, and we knew that was what we needed, and what we wanted. Three years of treading water was enough for us- we wanted money to be a blessing and a tool for us, not a burden. We really did want Financial Peace. We wanted the same peace we pray for to apply to our finances. Ramsey's Baby Steps start with a "Baby Emergency Fund" of $1,000 in a safe but accessible savings account, and a Debt Snowball method to payoff all debt (outside of a mortgage). We decided that if it worked for tens of thousands of people, it could work for us as well. We already had enough money in our savings, and we devised a plan to rid ourselves of student loans once and for all. Most stories we heard of those who had used his plans had less debt and larger incomes, but we were not discouraged! In less than four years, we could afford to pay off fifteen semesters of Private University education. It was going to take sacrifice, budgeting, and a lot of "No's" to get there, but we were determined. We were going to pay off our debt, then follow the remaining five baby steps to Financial Peace. This was our twelfth act of financial accountability to each other. 


We are almost halfway through our Fourth Financial Year, and thanks to our 12 Acts of Financial Accountability to each other, we have never had one fight about money. In this Fourth Year, we have not been stressed about money once. Our thoughts about finances are so close to the same that it feels like we are reading each other's minds. We have made it through tough financial times, and are working toward a bright financial future.

We made a promise to always put our relationship over money, and to truly become one. We know that we are not normal, nor do we seem sane to everyone we talk to. We know that what worked for us won't work for everyone. But we also know that if we don't work as partners who value our relationship, money can tear us apart, as it has done to so many couples.

We took "What's mine is yours, what's yours is mine" a step further. What's ours is ours- no distinction, no guilt, no pride. Even more so, what's ours is God's, and God is going to provide for us. It's not our money anyways, so why get all worked up about it?



Visit The First Financial Year
Visit The Second Financial Year
Stay tuned for Our Tips for Less Financial Stress in a Marriage

Financial Accountability: The Second Year

In my previous post I shared what I call mine and Jake's First "Financial Year" of marriage. Money is obviously one of the hot topics in marriage, and a common reason for marital strife. Jake and I have always agreed in marriage over money. Simply put, we never wanted to fight about money, and we wanted every financial aspect of our lives to be "ours", not mine or his.

We survived our first Financial Year without ever fighting about money.  It was, so far, an unmatched time of empty bank accounts and penny pinching, and our second year was looking brighter.


The Second Year


We started our Second Financial Year on a relieving note. Jake had become a permanent employee at his job, and I was finished with my Teaching Credential. For me, this meant we had few educational expenses, limited to processing fees and tests. It also meant that my time had opened wide up to schedule work and take jobs at any hour on any day. For Jake, this not only meant job security and a pay raise, but that we could get a discount on rent at his company's apartment communities, enabling us to move closer to work.

Fun fact about me: I love apartment hunting. It's more exciting than shopping for houses, and I treat it like a puzzle I must finish. I need to find an apartment that fits a budget, geographic location, lifestyle, and living preference of the occupant. I took the apartment-hunting job very seriously. I researched online and made lists. I scheduled appointments and dropped in to every option. I asked leasing consultants specific questions and calculated the difference in rent and gas that would be spent. Commute times, neighbors, storage, parking, and everything in between were weighed carefully. Eventually, we decided on our second home. In the middle of our budget, extremely close to Jake's office, and easy commute for anywhere I needed to go. Walking distance from a grocery store, close to freeways (but far away enough so we couldn't hear it). A spare room for an office/guests, but one bathroom so as to keep the price down. A nice part of town but an older community- safe, but affordable. Location in the community: 2nd floor, close to laundry, quiet but understanding neighbors, far away from but seen from the street, and on the end of a building. To top it off: parking was always available and we had a dishwasher!

Our new apartment made us happy in more ways we could count, and our living expenses didn't change much, though our travel expenses decreased significantly. In the apartment hunt, we had many other options, but the most important aspect, we agreed, was the budget. If it was not within the budget, the answer was no. We looked at some fabulous communities that were just too pricey. We sacrificed things like newer, soundproof buildings, amenities (like a gym), granite counters, updated flooring, and gas appliances. We only got one assigned parking space, and had to use a pay-per-use laundry room. When it came down to making a choice, we passed on the luxuries and went with what stayed in our budget. This was our fifth act of financial accountability to each other. 


Shortly after we moved, I became increasingly motivated to start my career. My credential was finished and approved too late for me to apply for a full-time teaching job, but I was determined to gain experience. I decided that I wanted to sub full-time. After all, at the end of the school year, when I was finished student teaching and could sub, there were classrooms in need every day. Surely I would get as much work as I needed. If I subbed even half as much as I worked at my hourly job, I would make the same amount of money. And so, as the school year approached, I decided to put in my notice for about a month after school started.

Around the same time, the same family I spent one day a week babysitting asked me to "sub" for their scheduled babysitters when needed. I happily obliged, knowing that I enjoyed them even more than subbing, and a day I worked was a day I worked. I was on track to make a big dent in our expenses with all the money I could make, and I could always have the same days off as Jake.

Much like the previous year, things don't always work out as planned. Although our commute stayed wonderful, the Sub jobs were few and far between. I found myself glued to the computer (we had finally gotten internet) refreshing the page that shows available jobs. I was lucky to get one day per week, whether it was babysitting or subbing. I never really figured out why right after I quit my previous job the sub jobs dried out, when they were plentiful before, but it meant we were no longer on Easy Street. My income was significantly reduced, and we once again had to employ our First Year strategies to get by. Leftovers, penny pinching, no entertainment, reduced traveling. As we had an incredible amount of student loans, and had taken on little expenses our parents used to cover, we one more time had to ask family to help us out. As I was not in Grad School any longer, asking for help that last time was perhaps the most embarrassing thing we ever had to do. We still look back and wish I had kept my hourly job for just a half-year longer, even if it was, at times, demeaning and tedious. We prayed a lot, saved in so many ways, and used literally every cent we earned.

And God was in control. Never once were we late on rent, homeless, unable to eat. The gas always lasted just until we had money to fill the tank. I snagged just enough sub jobs to get by, and with a few gracious gifts from our families we were able to travel home for the holidays.

And God was still in control. Just when we knew I needed to work more hours, our alma mater offered me a job. A new temporary position was being created and my name had come up in talks of who could get the job done. Once agin, we had a choice to make. Should I continue to pursue my career that we spent so much money setting up, or should I take the job offered to me? It was part time, and temporary, and everything about it seemed new, and therefore slightly unstable. What would my hours be? How much would I really make? Would I really be able to get the job done, even when it wasn't fully decided all that would be required of me?

Together, we talked, we prayed, and we decided. If God really did put this job here for me, the logistics would work out. This would be a way to pick ourselves back up and gain control over our situations through finances. Taking this job, after all, would mean we could fix a car if needed. We could go out to eat on special occasions. We could buy ice cream! Together, we decided to trust God, and be financially responsible. I took the job. We decided that no matter what jobs come or go, we would do everything we could to put in the work and the effort to stay out of financial doom. This was our sixth act of financial accountability to each other.


After taking the job, things started falling into place. Not only did I love the job, and my coworkers, but I was able to work out my schedule in an amazing way. Due to various circumstances, I was asked to babysit once a week, consistently, which turned into one full day and one half day most weeks. I was able to leave Fridays open, as they were the most common day for sub jobs. On Mondays, I would babysit. I worked in my office Tuesday through Thursday, taking a half day when I babysat. Fridays, I subbed. Of course, the sub jobs were mighty plentiful by this point. After a short while, we were able to regain control of our finances.

At this point, we were able to take on some of the few remaining expenses our parents had for us. The main one being the car I drove (drive). The college graduation present of my mom's jeep was more than a lifesaver in the past years, and it was finally our turn to take over payments and pay it off. Though each payment kept us pinching pennies, it felt so good to take charge. Soon, it was paid off, and I was spending my days off at the DMV putting both the Explorer and the Jeep into our names instead of our parents'. We spent the little extra money we had gaining responsibility of our cars. This meant, of course, if anything happened to the cars it was fully and legally our responsibility. It meant we weren't paying our parents registration fees when we could, we were paying the DMV on time. Though it was a financial burden, it didn't feel like it. For the first time, we were feeling a bit of financial freedom, and we were committed to that feeling. Paying off and taking responsibility for our cars was a big step that we made together, wholeheartedly. This was our seventh act of financial accountability to each other. 


As I was working at our alma mater, finishing Grad School came up quite often. I had only four classes left to earn a Masters of Education, a goal I had since I started college. Unfortunately, the scholarships are even slimmer than the first year of Grad School, and I never wanted to see a new loan again. We weren't suffering financially, but we didn't have some spare cash (thousands of it) to send me to school. "Finishing sooner is better!", everyone said. "You don't want to lose motivation", everyone warned. It was true. The longer I go, the more difficult it will be to finish. The window of finishing while all classes counted towards it will only ever get smaller. I still lived close enough to start on campus. Were we even going to live in Orange County in the future?

We started getting to the point where we had to make decisions. Should I finish my Masters Degree? Should we stay in Orange County, where I hay not have a job after my contract ends? Does Jake want to stay at a job that is burning him out but getting us a discount on rent? These are the kinds of talks that cause fights. They are centered around money, affect one person more than the other, and can make huge changes in our life. These are the questions that we knew cause divorce.

God was clearly with us, because in our entire Second Financial Year we had not even one money fight. Together, rationally, calmly, and lovingly we decided to postpone Grad School until we had the money set aside. This decision was bigger than just Grad School, though. I believe it was this moment that we truly decided debt wasn't worth it. Until we buy a house, we have no reason to spend money we don't have. This was our eighth act of financial accountability to each other. 


Of course, the daily habits were not yet there, and if a car broke down, we would use a credit card to fix it, but the deeper mindset of financial freedom had set in. In the deeper mindset, we grew even closer, financially, and not only solidified our united front, but were moving towards a place where money will never be an issue again.

As we moved closer to our Third Financial Year together, it was less of our situations that were changing, and more of our hearts, minds, and behaviors. Pinching pennies turned from necessary to wise. Our priorities were changed, causing us to look to the far future. We decided to move back to Northern California, closer to our families, even though it meant employment uncertainty. We were committed to working hard, taking chances, and being responsible. That's what "real adults" are supposed to do, right?



Visit The First Financial Year
Read on for The Third Financial Year

Financial Accountability: The First Year

Jake and I have been married for about three and a half years now. Before and during our marriage, we were warned countless times that there are some topics that cause more couple-disputes than others. It wasn't difficult to guess that money was the top issue.

We didn't live under rocks during college. We had heard this, seen it, known it. And so, going into our marriage, it was almost an unspoken truth that money would never become a relationship issue. It would be highly unrealistic to promise it would never be an issue, as many newlyweds (especially those going through Grad School) are guaranteed to be closer to poverty than riches, but it was even more than important to make sure it never became a relationship issue.

And so, college degrees and debt in hand, we embarked on the craziness of becoming "real adults". Weaning ourselves from support from our parents, while keeping necessary ones (like health insurance), always working more than full-time (but not yet at benefit/good salary yielding jobs), we jumped into our first year of marriage.

The First Year

Financially, this year was the hardest. I was in grad school a month after our wedding, and we had a mountain of debt from student loans. I was good with numbers, Jake was good with making due. We were armed with an affordable apartment, part time jobs that would give us more than full time hours, and a dedication to make it.


The first thing we did- even before getting married- was open a joint Bank Account. We believed, and still do, that marriage truly joins two separate people into one. "What's mine is ours" was more than a vow, it was an ingrained truth. Each of us had equal financial power with the checking and savings accounts, and each of our personal accounts were closed. At the time, we got our direct deposit paychecks at the exact same time, as we were working at the same job. Gift checks from our wedding were made out to both of us. The little cash we had flowed between the two of us as if we were just holding it for the other. Even our language regarding money was always "we" and "ours". This was our first act of financial accountability to each other, and to our brand-new two-person family.


We quickly learned that our affordable apartment was not commute-friendly to work or Grad School. My days were spent student teaching in the morning, then going straight to class or work. On Wednesdays, my day off from teaching, we started our morning babysitting and our evening at work. Whenever I was in class, Jake was at work. On lucky days, he was able to pull a double-shift while I taught and went to class. Unfortunately, we lived in Huntington Beach, I went to school in Costa Mesa, and we worked in Irvine. We drove in traffic, no matter where we were going, because our schedule matched the rush hour schedule. We either had to compromise convenience and sanity, or money to our gas-guzzling cars.

That choice was made for us at the most inconvenient of times- Jake was coming to see a Grad School presentation (and was bringing necessary items) when he discovered a flat tire. Changing it in his dress shirt in Huntington Beach, he made it to Costa Mesa just in time. After getting home and inspecting the remaining tires, we discovered they all needed replacing so badly that we didn't trust driving it.

So could we sacrifice our sanity or our money? We had no extra money for 4 new Ford Explorer tires. Goodbye, sanity. For the next 6 months or so, we had to share a car. When I taught, we both were out of the house by 6:30 to get to school by 7:15. For the first half, he was able to carpool with his old roommate to work if I had class, or drop me off if we both were going to work after school.

Soon, Jake got the opportunity to move up with the company. His new job was temporary, if they liked him they could hire him on permanently. With his new job Jake didn't start work until 8, and could no longer carpool with a friend, so I would drop him off at a Costa Mesa bus stop by 7. The bus, of course, dropped him off a mile away, and downhill from his office. After work, if the busses were still running, he would take it to my job or Grad School. I finished each around 10 pm. Any time I could, I would arrange to be picked up, or hitch a ride with gracious friends so he could have the car.  Either way, one of us was away from our apartment and our own transportation from 7am to 10pm. This was brutal on our energy and our sanity, but each of us was always more willing than the other to make the sacrifice. This was our second act of financial accountability to each other. 


Student loans are sneaky. They are acquired gradually, in manageable amounts, but quickly add up. The interest is clearly stated, but not fully understood by many bright-eyed college students. After you graduate, you get a 6 month grace period! So gracious! After all, every college graduate gets a great paying job in the 6 months after college. What, you didn't? Neither did we.

Jake's loan payments started coming, which is when we really started scrimping. This is the main reason we were not able to get new tires. As I was the numbers person, I was in charge of writing checks and paying bills. (Side-note: my handwriting is also WAY better, and legible checks are important.) My student loans wouldn't come due until 6 months after grad school, but talking about it like that didn't line up with our views on "our" money. These talks were confusing. These talks were awkward. These talks made us sad.

But these talks were important.

These were the talks where we really committed to the truth that we were (are) one. If Jake's paycheck was our paycheck, then Jake's debt was our debt. My debt was our debt. My lotto winnings were our lotto winnings! Sike- We never won the lottery. These talks were where we committed, again, to becoming one. Neither of us would ever let the other carry the burden or guilt of student loans, no matter how large. At the time, my student loans were much larger, and this took a heavy weight off of my shoulders. Jake literally was not just willing, but was insistent on carrying the weight for me. And I, of course would do the same. Years later, when discovering a loan of Jake's that did not contact him, he would feel a guilt heavier than I did. We had this same conversation all over again, this time with me forcing the weight off of his shoulders, and onto mine, so that he could breathe. The bottom line was: we are one, we equally share every financial joy, decision, and burden. This was our third act of financial accountability to each other.  


Jake and I were very proud. We both had successful high school times, went away to a wonderful college, graduated with degrees and good GPAs, and never had trouble finding work. We worked from high school through college graduation and tried out different money habits. We had strengthened out faith and grown in our years away from home, had found each other, and had had a blast at our wedding. We had few bad habits, good health, and loving family and friends. I wish we knew then what we know now: "Pride comes before destruction..." (Proverbs 16:18). Of course, we knew it, in our heads, but we didn't truly know it in our hearts. And Grad School is expensive.

Orange County is not a cheap place to live. That was okay, we had calculated for that. Food is pricey if you aren't careful. That was okay, we were carefully eating left overs, cooking from scratch, and packing our lunches (and dinners). Entertainment is a luxury. That was okay, we didn't have time for movies or shopping anyways. And Grad School is expensive. And, as it turns out, offers little financial aid. This was not okay. We had skated through our Undergrad with scholarships, savings, student loans, part time jobs, and parents. In that, we had eaten through our complete savings, and I now had a tiny scholarship and no approved student loans. Grad School takes as many hours as a full time job, even up to 50 hours a week (not including homework), which left weekends and Friday evenings to work.

I had a choice: find a way to get through Grad School and get my teaching credential so I could set myself up for a career and a steady paycheck, or work part-time and hourly jobs for the foreseeable future. It was now or never- I had to finish. The problem is, they don't let you finish if you don't pay. I was on a monthly payment plan to ease the stress, which really just meant I had smaller stress every month instead of a huge stress at each semester. We added hours, we worked overtime, we attempted odd jobs, we pinched every penny. It still wasn't enough. We didn't want to, but we had one option we hadn't exhausted. We could ask for help. It felt like giving up. We talked about how it felt like giving up. It came down to asking for help, or dropping out of school. And so, after much prayer and many talks, we asked for help. God and our families were gracious, and we were able to pay for Grad School. I finished after 2 semesters with a 4.0 and a teaching credential. It was difficult, and incredibly humbling, but it was was exactly what we needed, and we agreed we I could not have finished school without the help. Through this, our relationship was never strained or damaged because of our openness, honesty, and commitment.  This was our fourth act of financial accountability to each other. 


Our first financial year was tough, but we always knew that our relationship was a priority over money. It was full of struggles, and had few triumphs, but as we finished it, we were looking toward a second financial year with more hope than before. We felt as if we had gone through the toughest financial times, and if we could get through it without fighting once about money, there was financial hope for us yet. After all, my credential was completed, my Master's Degree was on hold pending the money and time set aside prior to starting, and I was now able to easily work three jobs simultaneously. Jake was a permanent employee, and got a small raise, and we decided to move closer to our jobs. The Second Year was looking brighter. Not perfect, but decidedly brighter.



Read on for The Second Year
Read on for The Third Year

A Different Summer

July. The one month that is truly summer.

If I had my way, seasons would not follow the moon. They would follow months. Calm down, I don't think the world is 200 years old and that it was created with January-December. I am fully aware that the modern calendar is just that- modern. But I digress. In my perfect world, Spring would begin on March 1st. March through May, the entire months, would be Spring. When May is over, it's summer! Summer would begin on June 1st, giving us a true June-July-August Summer. September, the month depicted on calendars with schoolhouses, apples, and orange leaves, would be the start of (you called it) Fall (or Autumn for you fancy people). Winter? December through February, of course.

With these simple seasons, college Spring breaks would be in the actual springtime. Christmas decorating would occur at the start of Winter. Memorial Day would be the true "start of Summer", and Labor Day would be the true "end of Summer". Don't you want to begin and end the Summer with patriotic- one remembering fallen soldiers and one celebrating America's love/hate relationship with Capitalism- Bar-b-ques? (Side note- where on earth did that name come from?) People, it only makes sense.

If I were in charge, that would probably be my number 2 frivolous change. My first would be creating a national/ international database of fingerprints so that educators and volunteers don't need to be re-fingerprinted at each organization. Everyone who has gotten their fingerprints would be in the same database- teachers, police officers, criminals, etc.- then the people on CSI would only need to check one database for everyone. Also teachers wouldn't need to get rechecked in every district. They would just figure out how to scan people on the spot to see if you're in the system for something bad.

Clearly I have gotten off-topic. My topic was supposed to be Summer.

I've written about Summer before. I wrote how it's all about big things and changes. I wrote about traveling, getting married, and moving to new and exciting places. Summer has been fairly wonderful to us.

Because Summer has been wonderful to us, I've had a bit of a quarter-life crisis (thanks for the term, John Mayer) this Summer. No, these past weeks haven't been terrible. In fact, they have been mostly normal.

But that's just it! Summers aren't normal. Summers are crazy and exciting and unknown! Summer is when I stand on the edge of the Grand Canyon. Summer is when I pack up everything I own to move 386 miles. Summer is when I get unexpected jobs. Summer is when I marry a fantastic person! Summer is... when I reorganize my closet?

That's right, this summer has been full of activities like reorganizing my closet. And removing the scuffs under our bar with a magic eraser. And finally getting matching bath mats that also match towels that cost more than $2 each. Summer has been, in a word, boring. No exciting new changes, no moving, no reasons to make a big deal.

Well, this is a big deal:

Yep, from scratch. 

I'm getting off track again. I'll talk about that awesome project in another post.

So I'm left with two choices.

1. Admit that Summer has been coincidentally filled with wonderful events largely due to a typical educational schedule. 

or

2. Hold fast to the notion that Summer is a time when wonderful things can happen, but change my view of "wonderful things."

I'll give you one guess on what the "right answer" would be.

In order to change my view on what is considered wonderful, or exciting, or noteworthy, or any other adjective I have used to describe my previous Summers, I feel I must start from scratch, and view each day as a chapter in a book. Does this sound weird? Narcissistic? Creepy? I don't care. This is my epiphany, not yours. (Unless it is also yours, then just think of this as some sort of antagonist-type event in your book). As I tell my students, only boring people get bored. Only boring people have boring days. Do I want to read a boring book? No, I finished Gen. Ed. years ago.

Each day has meaning. Each day is filled with blessings. Each day's events, no matter how trivial, are leading to something. Maybe they are leading to something big, maybe they aren't. Either way, why prematurely judge how crucial each day is?

Jake and I recently went camping. We love to camp, but in this case we had just returned from a road trip one week prior. I pushed for the camping trip (to which he happily obliged) because I knew it would be a good time to get away and think about how I want to spend my days. I needed to re-focus on what is important and wonderful about each day. I'm a list- maker, so I decided to write out a schedule like a list.

BAM! Everything was solved and I have wonderfully productive and exciting days now! What you don't believe me?

Okay, it hasn't been perfect. I've been trying to follow my daily lists, but I sleep in, I get distracted, I get lazy. The difference is that I am prioritizing and reflecting- two things that weren't typical of me. After making my bed (Jake spewed some psychobabble mumbo-jumbo at me about making your bed first thing in the morning and being more motivated and I OF COURSE ate it up) I start each morning reading the Bible and journaling while eating breakfast. I also use this time to pray and plan out what I want to accomplish in the day. It has become a nice routine (does 4 days count as a routine?) for me.

The set-up looks a bit like this:

Vitamins! 

I almost think the organization and repetition of this makes me look forward to it- look how the paper towel is even lined up with the seam on the counter! Or, it's starting my day by being spiritually, physically, emotionally, and mentally healthy that makes me look forward to it. Either way, if I can start my day this way, each day has the makings of a great chapter in a book. Picture it: 

"As Sybra unfurled the drapes to let the light stream in, she looked at the duvet crumpled in the middle of the bed. She began to straighten sheet, and thought about the ingredients she needed for breakfast. Was there enough milk for cream of wheat? Should she pick something with more protein? She held up the mattress while she tucked the sheet in. No, if she was strong enough to hold up the king- size mattress with one hand, protein could wait until lunch. She mentally set her spot as she straightened the duvet and fluffed the pillows in their spots. 

While standing back to gaze at the crisp bed, her eyes glanced the clock, which read "later than it should be" in her mind. She set out to the kitchen, simultaneously adding ingredients to her breakfast while locating her Bible, journal, and favorite purple pen. Grabbing her vitamins was unusually easy, as she had organized the pantry during the previous afternoon, easy enough to grab all three instead of just one.  

Finally time to sit and eat, she prayed a quick prayer that her heart would be open to the words today, and that she would have enough thoughts to fill a page in her journal. It was, and she did."

I would for sure read that book. I should write that book! Oh, I see what I did there.

What's so bad about a different Summer? That's all it is, a different Summer. It's still new and wonderful and exciting, I just need to recognize it.

And since I am a teacher, I can't let this be without a lesson. I want you to recognize it too. As I strain to see the wonderful things in each day for the rest of the summer, I hope that you, too, start to see the wonderful where you haven't seen it before. It's there. 

I Think I Leveled Up in Pinterest

I Think I finally feel like a true 24-year-old woman in 2013. Meaning, of course, I did something amazing I saw on Pinterest.

Now, I've baked cookies, cooked burgers, changed up my ab workout, efficiently cleaned my house, and made decorations for a party, but that was all small beans compared to the real stuff you see on Pinterest.

But I'm not small beans anymore.

I give you, this:

That's right, I turned an out-dated old dresser into a bomb.com TV stand. I don't always gloat, but I'll gloat a tiny bit about this one, only because I am so proud! 

It started out simply. Simply ugly, that is. 

We took it apart. 

Filled in parts of the doors to they didn't have drastic crevices in them. 

Primed with a special primer- 1-2-3 Bulls Eye for glossy surfaces. Worked great! 

We painted it a nice shade of cream- a color I hope to paint more pieces of furniture. 

Added new hardware- thanks Home Depot! 

And moved it in our apartment! 

BAM! TV Stand. I think I leveled up in Pinterest. 

A Fresh Start

The last time I updated this blog, I was counting the days until our move up north. Clearly, I have been too busy to even update this blog- it's been crazy!

Let's start with the move. I believe I will go into detail of the move in another post, but just know that due to my Type-A personality, it went incredibly smooth. We were packed up sooner than planned, and headed out a half-day early, giving us a night at my Grandma's house. Who doesn't love a night at Grandma's house?!

Once we made it up north, Jake started his new job. Like the day after we moved he started working. No wiggle room there, but I was on summer vacation and had time to do whatever was needed. As any new job goes, he was the quiet observer learning the ropes. He has since fit in quite nicely there! He enjoys his coworkers, and really does like the work he has to do. He's looking forward to moving up with the company!

While we were settling in, I was looking into subbing in the District where I grew up- a step in the direction of getting a contract there. This, of course, was the original reason we decided to move up north, and it was seeming to come along nicely. Meanwhile, our living situation wasn't exactly what we thought it would be, and we were getting restless (and uncomfortable).

After a crazy series of events, we were suddenly unpacking (again) in a new apartment (emphasis on the new) with my brother, Daniel. Turns out he needed a place to live and some roommates, and Jake wanted a particular apartment with a fantastic kitchen that just happened to be 2 bedrooms and slightly out of our price range. But, more unpacking... boo.

While unpacking, a funny thing happened. I got a call from the School District. Was I still interested in getting hired? Of course! I wanted to sub every day if I could! Interview 3 days from now? No problem, I could handle that. I said I would be there, and they started to explain the job... the full-year job. What was I interviewing for now? Oh, I was sure I'd get clarification on the interview.

And that I did. The job is for the whole year, they said. I had a fantastic interview, thanks to my extensive practice during grad school. Or was it because I was clicking well with the interviewers? No matter, I thought, I'm sure there are a dozen people interviewing. I thought I was a long shot, and that I would have a week or so to think about it.

I was wrong.

I got a call the next morning offering me the job, in too many words. I accepted. Then I freaked out for accepting. What was I getting myself into? I wasn't ready! School had already started without me!

Well, it's been 10 weeks and they haven't given me the boot yet. I'm enjoying myself, as much work as it is, and I'm fitting in well. My apartment may take a year to fully come together, but I am a real teacher. And you know what? Every doubt I have had in the past 10 years about becoming a teacher has faded. No matter how much my kids misbehave, roll their eyes, or fail their tests, I know that I am where I'm supposed to be.

It may not be a glamorous job, but it's my calling. I amy never become rich, but I bet I will have more funny work stories that most rich people out there.

Now I get to act like a teacher and count down the days until Christmas Break.

49 days you say? I'll take it.

Summer Time is Mighty Fine

Oh, how I love summertime (and Kayla's awesome art skills).

The weather is nice, the fruit is wonderful, and it always brings about incredible changes.

Last summer, Jake and I moved from Huntington Beach to Irvine- a change we wish had come sooner.

The summer before that- our favorite one- we got married. Jake finished his BA, and we both celebrated graduating with our families here in So Cal.

In 2010 I got to travel the western United States while Jake worked at his favorite job to date.


Clearly summer means big things. This summer isn't much different... as we are making our biggest change since we started college in 2007.

Moving to Northern California, now that it is so certain, has brought so many emotions up in Jake and in me. We are so happy, but at the same time, our hearts ache so much for our home. But, I've written of that.

It's summertime! The time to tan, swim, nap, and get back to my roots.

I will always love a good mango.

It's time to get on with changes, because they always turn out for the better- to quote one of my highly embarrassing songs written when I was younger.

To look on this summer in the best light, I've decided to make myself a Summer To-Do List! 

1. Move 

This one is easy... this one will happen in 18 days, whether we are ready for it or not.

2. Run a 5K

To many this is only a goal because they must sign up for one. For me (and I suspect more than a few others) this is a steep physical goal to wrap my mind, let along my lungs, around. You see, I have fake asthma... better known as Exercise Induced Asthma. Essentially, prolonged aerobic exercise can cause asthma attacks. Though I've only ever had one major attack (thanks late night VU games), it makes cardio exercise a bit difficult. Running any more than a mile at an easy pace gives me shortness of breath, chest tightening, and wheezing.
But there is hope!
Fake asthma won't be able to match a gradual 8-week training, courtesy of the Couch to 5K free App. Free! (I'm cheap.)
My hope is that at the end of the 8 weeks, I can regularly run 5 Kilometers, without asthmatic symptoms. I presume it will be to my advantage (long-term) that these 8-weeks will be in hot weather.

3. Develop Healthy Eating Habits

They say it takes 21 days to build a habit. Who? Well, I suppose word got out about the 70's self-help book, Psycho-Cybernetics. There may be some dispute about the actual number of days, but 21 is pretty convincing becuase there's a website dedicated to it. That makes it true, right?
Well, after we move we are committing to healthy eating habits for at least 21 days. It will likely resemble the Paleo diet- based on the diet of people before the agricultural revolution. Cutting out grains, refined sugars, and dairy will hopefully help out our often-compromised immune systems.

4. Save Money

One day, Jake and I want to own a house, replace our cars, and become debt-free. Clearly, this isn't a summer goal. This summer, however, it is my goal to examine our every expense, and put all we can partly in savings, and partly towards student loans.
For this I have no specific plan or tips to give. I can only point you to my Saving Money board on Pinterest.

5. Finish Chronologically Reading the Bible

It saddens me that I have not completed this yet. But as change comes this summer, I hope the completion of goal will also come. Spending time in God's word is one of the most important things I can be doing to prepare my heart for the big changes awaiting my little 2-person family.

Because, after all, it's summer. And summer means big changes.

But don't worry. It also means tanning, swimming, and napping.