In my previous post I shared what I call mine and Jake's First "Financial Year" of marriage. Money is obviously one of the hot topics in marriage, and a common reason for marital strife. Jake and I have always agreed in marriage over money. Simply put, we never wanted to fight about money, and we wanted every financial aspect of our lives to be "ours", not mine or his.
We survived our first Financial Year without ever fighting about money. It was, so far, an unmatched time of empty bank accounts and penny pinching, and our second year was looking brighter.
The Second Year
We started our Second Financial Year on a relieving note. Jake had become a permanent employee at his job, and I was finished with my Teaching Credential. For me, this meant we had few educational expenses, limited to processing fees and tests. It also meant that my time had opened wide up to schedule work and take jobs at any hour on any day. For Jake, this not only meant job security and a pay raise, but that we could get a discount on rent at his company's apartment communities, enabling us to move closer to work.
Fun fact about me: I love apartment hunting. It's more exciting than shopping for houses, and I treat it like a puzzle I must finish. I need to find an apartment that fits a budget, geographic location, lifestyle, and living preference of the occupant. I took the apartment-hunting job very seriously. I researched online and made lists. I scheduled appointments and dropped in to every option. I asked leasing consultants specific questions and calculated the difference in rent and gas that would be spent. Commute times, neighbors, storage, parking, and everything in between were weighed carefully. Eventually, we decided on our second home. In the middle of our budget, extremely close to Jake's office, and easy commute for anywhere I needed to go. Walking distance from a grocery store, close to freeways (but far away enough so we couldn't hear it). A spare room for an office/guests, but one bathroom so as to keep the price down. A nice part of town but an older community- safe, but affordable. Location in the community: 2nd floor, close to laundry, quiet but understanding neighbors, far away from but seen from the street, and on the end of a building. To top it off: parking was always available and we had a dishwasher!
Our new apartment made us happy in more ways we could count, and our living expenses didn't change much, though our travel expenses decreased significantly. In the apartment hunt, we had many other options, but the most important aspect, we agreed, was the budget. If it was not within the budget, the answer was no. We looked at some fabulous communities that were just too pricey. We sacrificed things like newer, soundproof buildings, amenities (like a gym), granite counters, updated flooring, and gas appliances. We only got one assigned parking space, and had to use a pay-per-use laundry room. When it came down to making a choice, we passed on the luxuries and went with what stayed in our budget. This was our fifth act of financial accountability to each other.
Shortly after we moved, I became increasingly motivated to start my career. My credential was finished and approved too late for me to apply for a full-time teaching job, but I was determined to gain experience. I decided that I wanted to sub full-time. After all, at the end of the school year, when I was finished student teaching and could sub, there were classrooms in need every day. Surely I would get as much work as I needed. If I subbed even half as much as I worked at my hourly job, I would make the same amount of money. And so, as the school year approached, I decided to put in my notice for about a month after school started.
Around the same time, the same family I spent one day a week babysitting asked me to "sub" for their scheduled babysitters when needed. I happily obliged, knowing that I enjoyed them even more than subbing, and a day I worked was a day I worked. I was on track to make a big dent in our expenses with all the money I could make, and I could always have the same days off as Jake.
Much like the previous year, things don't always work out as planned. Although our commute stayed wonderful, the Sub jobs were few and far between. I found myself glued to the computer (we had finally gotten internet) refreshing the page that shows available jobs. I was lucky to get one day per week, whether it was babysitting or subbing. I never really figured out why right after I quit my previous job the sub jobs dried out, when they were plentiful before, but it meant we were no longer on Easy Street. My income was significantly reduced, and we once again had to employ our First Year strategies to get by. Leftovers, penny pinching, no entertainment, reduced traveling. As we had an incredible amount of student loans, and had taken on little expenses our parents used to cover, we one more time had to ask family to help us out. As I was not in Grad School any longer, asking for help that last time was perhaps the most embarrassing thing we ever had to do. We still look back and wish I had kept my hourly job for just a half-year longer, even if it was, at times, demeaning and tedious. We prayed a lot, saved in so many ways, and used literally every cent we earned.
And God was in control. Never once were we late on rent, homeless, unable to eat. The gas always lasted just until we had money to fill the tank. I snagged just enough sub jobs to get by, and with a few gracious gifts from our families we were able to travel home for the holidays.
And God was still in control. Just when we knew I needed to work more hours, our alma mater offered me a job. A new temporary position was being created and my name had come up in talks of who could get the job done. Once agin, we had a choice to make. Should I continue to pursue my career that we spent so much money setting up, or should I take the job offered to me? It was part time, and temporary, and everything about it seemed new, and therefore slightly unstable. What would my hours be? How much would I really make? Would I really be able to get the job done, even when it wasn't fully decided all that would be required of me?
Together, we talked, we prayed, and we decided. If God really did put this job here for me, the logistics would work out. This would be a way to pick ourselves back up and gain control over our situations through finances. Taking this job, after all, would mean we could fix a car if needed. We could go out to eat on special occasions. We could buy ice cream! Together, we decided to trust God, and be financially responsible. I took the job. We decided that no matter what jobs come or go, we would do everything we could to put in the work and the effort to stay out of financial doom. This was our sixth act of financial accountability to each other.
After taking the job, things started falling into place. Not only did I love the job, and my coworkers, but I was able to work out my schedule in an amazing way. Due to various circumstances, I was asked to babysit once a week, consistently, which turned into one full day and one half day most weeks. I was able to leave Fridays open, as they were the most common day for sub jobs. On Mondays, I would babysit. I worked in my office Tuesday through Thursday, taking a half day when I babysat. Fridays, I subbed. Of course, the sub jobs were mighty plentiful by this point. After a short while, we were able to regain control of our finances.
At this point, we were able to take on some of the few remaining expenses our parents had for us. The main one being the car I drove (drive). The college graduation present of my mom's jeep was more than a lifesaver in the past years, and it was finally our turn to take over payments and pay it off. Though each payment kept us pinching pennies, it felt so good to take charge. Soon, it was paid off, and I was spending my days off at the DMV putting both the Explorer and the Jeep into our names instead of our parents'. We spent the little extra money we had gaining responsibility of our cars. This meant, of course, if anything happened to the cars it was fully and legally our responsibility. It meant we weren't paying our parents registration fees when we could, we were paying the DMV on time. Though it was a financial burden, it didn't feel like it. For the first time, we were feeling a bit of financial freedom, and we were committed to that feeling. Paying off and taking responsibility for our cars was a big step that we made together, wholeheartedly. This was our seventh act of financial accountability to each other.
As I was working at our alma mater, finishing Grad School came up quite often. I had only four classes left to earn a Masters of Education, a goal I had since I started college. Unfortunately, the scholarships are even slimmer than the first year of Grad School, and I never wanted to see a new loan again. We weren't suffering financially, but we didn't have some spare cash (thousands of it) to send me to school. "Finishing sooner is better!", everyone said. "You don't want to lose motivation", everyone warned. It was true. The longer I go, the more difficult it will be to finish. The window of finishing while all classes counted towards it will only ever get smaller. I still lived close enough to start on campus. Were we even going to live in Orange County in the future?
We started getting to the point where we had to make decisions. Should I finish my Masters Degree? Should we stay in Orange County, where I hay not have a job after my contract ends? Does Jake want to stay at a job that is burning him out but getting us a discount on rent? These are the kinds of talks that cause fights. They are centered around money, affect one person more than the other, and can make huge changes in our life. These are the questions that we knew cause divorce.
God was clearly with us, because in our entire Second Financial Year we had not even one money fight. Together, rationally, calmly, and lovingly we decided to postpone Grad School until we had the money set aside. This decision was bigger than just Grad School, though. I believe it was this moment that we truly decided debt wasn't worth it. Until we buy a house, we have no reason to spend money we don't have. This was our eighth act of financial accountability to each other.
Of course, the daily habits were not yet there, and if a car broke down, we would use a credit card to fix it, but the deeper mindset of financial freedom had set in. In the deeper mindset, we grew even closer, financially, and not only solidified our united front, but were moving towards a place where money will never be an issue again.
As we moved closer to our Third Financial Year together, it was less of our situations that were changing, and more of our hearts, minds, and behaviors. Pinching pennies turned from necessary to wise. Our priorities were changed, causing us to look to the far future. We decided to move back to Northern California, closer to our families, even though it meant employment uncertainty. We were committed to working hard, taking chances, and being responsible. That's what "real adults" are supposed to do, right?
Visit The First Financial Year
Read on for The Third Financial Year
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